![]() Their goal is always to break down, weaken resistance, break spirits and cause chaos and confusion in the minds of the abused. Gaslighting is a form of emotional and psychological abuse where the abuser's end goal is to gain control and convince the target to agree with them. Typically gaslighters will try to throw you off balance and alternate between verbal abuse and praise in the same conversation saying things like “you know I love you but that never happened.” Or trying to smooth things over with kind words that don’t match their behavior. This is another tactic to make you feel like you are the one to blame. When questioning or challenging what they are saying they may flip the script and try to police your tone of voice. Someone who is gaslighting you doesn’t like to be challenged. They will suggest that the people in your life are unsuitable in several ways and try to show you that they are your best source of support or “safety”. Many gaslighters will ensure to isolate victims from their friends, family and support systems. When someone is trying to gaslight you they will lie about the situation saying things like “that never happened” and “you’re making things up”. Feel powerless after an interactionīecause gaslighters are so good at disregarding your feelings and emotions and trying to break you down, if you walk away from a conversation feeling more confused and questioning your reality, it may be a red flag. They will also use this language to paint you in a negative light to other people, spreading rumors and gossip about you behind your back. The term “you’re being crazy” or “you’re exaggerating” may be said when you point out something that happened or when you're sharing your feelings. Often an abuser will say things like you are “overly emotional”, “crazy” or “irrational”. They will also try to twist a story to minimize their bad behavior. Instead they turn the tables and may say something like “You’re crazy”, “That never happened”, or “You’re making that up”. It is common that they will lie straight to your face and if you call them out, they don't back down from their lie. They also display narcissistic and sociopathic behaviors and traits. People who gaslight others are often pathological liars. ![]() Here are some common signs to watch out for. ![]() Gaslighting is meant to be confusing, that’s why it is also hard to identify. This type of abuse can occur in romantic relationships, friendships and between family members.Ħ Ways to tell that someone is gaslighting you A gaslighter wants you to feel as if you are to blame for the situation, or that you are being too sensitive. It is a way to make the abused feel like they are acting unstable, and irrational, when really, it’s the manipulator who is lying and being deceitful. Gaslighting involves an imbalance of power between the abused and the abuser. Gaslighters will try to manipulate, lie, and undermine your perception of reality, in order to break down your confidence and trust in self. Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where the bully or abusers misleads the target to make them question their judgment and reality. ![]()
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